Book 20 – Don’t Touch The Nuts

Book – Don’t Touch The Nuts
Author – Daniel Ford
Year – 2010
Genre – Humour
Pages – 128
Bought for me by Emily Jackson

Not a massive book, and with graphics on the front cover that could have been lifted out of any men’s mag, this is the kind of present that you receive with trepidation.  When you read what the basis of the book is – a description of all of the (no longer) unwritten rules of the pub – then you know that you are going to be in for a blokey OTT piece of nonsense that will try its hardest to be funny, but only achieve a sense of preposterous male posturing.

So it is actually a delight when you read the book and find that it surpasses all of that to become a genuinely funny read.  You can already imagine most of the content – rules for using urinals, what type of pub suits you best and so forth – but the author, whilst still presenting it in a style which befits a former GQ editor, has obviously thought about it and not just presented every cliche about.  The which urinal to use section is about six pages long, and all male stereotyping aside, every man knows that there are rules about which urinal to use that are genuinely complex enough to warrant six pages of text.  When you add to that Ford’s style, which sees him talk about his own locals (which he dedicates the book to, and include some in Dartford), and is remarkably casual when compared to the style of the men’s mags that the book looks to emulate (men’s mags tend to refer to themselves in the third person grouping all of the time, as in ‘FHM was eating a curry last night’.  It is a style that, when I read that kind of thing regularly, drove me mad enough that I no longer read that kind of thing regularly), the whole thing becomes a funny and warm read, that is worth a little look from anyone.


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